Today’s Musical Monday goes to a song I always find myself going back to, regardless of how many years pass. This song happens to be Hoodie Weather by The Wonder Years.
I have a hard time giving a good explanation as to why this song always makes a comeback at least once a year in life. I think it comes down to some of the lyrics. For example, these are my favorite lines from the song:
Growing up means watching my heroes turn human in front of me
And the songs we wrote at eighteen seem shortsighted and naive
So when the weather breaks, I’ll pull my hoodie up over my face
I won’t run away, run away
As fucked as this place got, it made me me
For some reason that I cannot fully grasp, this chunk of lyrics always hits home. My interpretation of the song in general is people trying to escape where they came from or where they began, but they’re not able to make it so they end up right back where they started. I think this is actually one of my biggest fears. I don’t want to end up where I started; I don’t want to go back home. What I want is to find my own place, and I think my actions so far reflect that. I’ve gone to school and lived in different places, but I still haven’t found a place to call home. My family thinks I’ll end up back in southern New Jersey, and that scares me to think about. There’s not much there for me anymore besides my family and a handful of friends. Plus, there’s a part of me that doesn’t think I belong or fit in there.
I think I listen to this song as a reminder that I may just end up back at that place. It terrifies me that it might be true, but I am who I am because of where I grew up and the experiences I had. Yet, at the same time, there’s another thought that occurs. If I don’t go back, I won’t look at it as if I’m running away; I won’t be turning my back on it. That place is where I began, and it is a part of me as much as I don’t feel connected to it. I’ll learn from it and change. It’s about growing up and not being a child anymore. It’s about taking responsibility of your life regardless where you end up.
I haven’t kept track as to when this song appears in my life, but if I had to guess, it is probably when I either head back home or there is some significant change in my life. I remember last year I was playing Hoodie Weather around the time of my graduation because it was an ending to one chapter of my life and I was going on to internship. At the beginning of this school year I played it as well because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as to where I’ll end up after finishing my internship. There are a lot of unknowns right now for me, but thankfully, I have time to think about it.
So maybe it’s like this…
This song always comes to me when I’m conflicted of where I’ll end up. I’m afraid of going back, but like the song says: It made me me. A few days of listening to this song and album and I feel like I can brave the storm if comes to going back to that place. I won’t run away. If I end up there, I end up there. It’s not the end of the world. And if I don’t end up there, I won’t just turn my back on it. Sometimes I just need this song as a reminder of that.